I hate the part of this that keeps me from focusing. I used to love reading. I loved losing myself in literature.I can't focus on it now. I can only focus on..."did I get everything up? Should I go back and try and get more up? If I drink tonight I need to have something in me so I won't make an ass out of myself (again) and puke everywhere"...
I hate that I can't get those thoughts in the box and lock it, close it, and throw it away. I can't get it out of my mind. (maybe I need to talk about it. Process it)
I skipped both my classes today.
I don't do stuff like that. I'm supposed to be the good student.
Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck
I NEED TO HIT SOMETHING. I need to hurt. I don't need another scar. I don't. I won't do it. I'm
not leaving the lounge until this feeling passes.
good. I'm proud of you. I hope things turned out well. you're not SUPPOSED TO BE ANYONE BUT YOURSELF. it's okay to skip class ( don't quote me on that ) if your brain needs it.
ReplyDeletedon't be so harsh on yourself. You're doing well. you are. better than I did when I was in your position. You can keep on doing this...and if not, you know you have the support down here.
<3 I miss you. stay strong